Modern Exposure

a kate west reflection





What IS it with our modern generation and everyone's constant need to over share? I know I sound old when I say this, but back in my day, we never told each other every single detail of our lives. None of this minute-to-minute update of life's minutia, sexual exploits, bathroom habits, every single damn thing each of us is thinking every single second. I don't need to know all that and neither does the rest of the world. What happened to privacy, decorum, tact and just plain class? Kids these days demand screaming attention in order to validate their existence and are uncomfortable with the more reserved. Isn't one of life's mysteries the actual mystery? And do I even have to complain about people on their cellphones? Private is now public apparently. Maybe this is an American problem and Europeans are grown ups and Americans are children. I often think so.

In any case, no wonder we exalt celebrities and people get famous simply for being famous and not for contributing significantly to society. We are fascinated with the fishbowl culture of needing to know everything about their private lives. Is it because it makes us feel better or are we just nosy? Believe it or not, I know next to nothing about several nameless super celebs apparently in the news lately - I don't watch FOX News or read PEOPLE and am told that I can't help knowing about it since that knowledge is everywhere, but honest to God, since I'm not looking for it or talking about it, I've missed it. Hooray for me.

Granted I watch too much television (but at least not the commercials). So I need to get back to reading. And avoiding the fishbowl. Yes, I will keep blogging (oh hush)!

p.s. And while I'm in the mood, can I once again complain about television characters mentioning other television characters from shows on the same network? Tacky boo. Oh and is it just me, or is it enough already with self-congratulating, self-absorbed Hollywooders and their insider everything (Oscars especially)? Ugh.

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SMILE!

Smile!
a kate west reflection





It's a mystery as to this country's obsession with each other's outward happiness. Have you ever gotten the impossibly irritating "Smile!" admonition from a stranger? And how many of you are female - do men even get that question? Probably not as often as women, if ever, since we are sugar and spice and everything nice and supposed to be pleasantly innocuous.

So is it really any of your business what my inner state is? Are you that insecure that you need me to validate you that way - through a smile? I know you think it's a friendly gesture, but it has a more sinister intent, subconscious or no. You want me to make you feel comfortable. And that's not my job. Please, worry about yourself and your own inner state, no need to infringe on mine. I'm fine, or not, but either way, I'll handle it, thank you. Read more!

YES

The Year of Yes
by Maria Dahvana Headley
a kate west favorite










Maria Dahvana Headley wrote "The Year of Yes" after literally living entirely for the moment for exactly one year. Because she no longer trusted her judgement in dating and her taste in men, she decided on a experiment. She would say yes to every single person who asked her out. This resulted in some bizarre entanglements, but she was willing to be open to the universe which also makes for a highly entertaining book. It's not something everyone can do, of course, but it's fun to read about someone else going through such trials and tribulations. The end result is that she finds her true love, someone she would not have considered normally and someone she now had access to due to her year of affirmation. Good to know.

It would be nice to be able to just wait and see what the universe has in store, but not all of us gets asked out as much. Headley's approach is seemingly proactive in more of a passive way, which is fine for her. That being said, you will love this book if you are at all in the mood for cheering on risk-takers, something we should all probably exercise. Since it's a memoir, her amusing anecdotes are all about her own experiences from her own perspective, which is as it should be. Be happy that it worked out for her.

Just Say Yes to:
The Year of Yes

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Life and Online Dating

a kate west reflection

You never know who's going to end up together. It's not something you have any business sorting out, either. Chemistry and timing play a part, as well as a general outlook on life, love and dating. Life is unexpected. And love can change. Who knew?

The year 2001 changed my entire life, in so many ways. September 11 happened and then the whole world changed, so what did my small life have to do with anything? Well, I still had to live it, when all was said and done. After our national shock, we all had to get back to living our lives. Comedians started being funny again and Hollywood celebrities came out of hiding. And I started online dating. And perceptions and perspectives got small again.

On to major trivialities. Can I work out my own insecurities, while still caring about the state of the planet? Like I said, I had to start living my life again and if the whole country could do it, so could I. It all ties in - for me, at least. O.K. so forgive me. Please. Moment of self-indulgence. But who knows, maybe we'll all learn something together.

Here's the thing about online dating. Profiles don't match. Guys, it's not your fault - I don't match my profile either. Everything on there is true, but you're right this moment building a fantasy in your head, which I just can't live up to - no one can. And I'm doing the same to you. Cyber reality isn't reality at all - it's what we want to have happen and then we're disappointed when it doesn't come true. So I've given up online dating. I know, I know, a lot of you married people you met online, but it's pretty unusual to meet someone perfect from a photo gallery of strangers. What are the odds? And if you've been out of circulation, for oh, say decades, the rules may have changed and it's kind of like starting out all over again. But straight from high school. And who wants to do that? Ugh. Better for real friendships to develop into something else. But who has the time for that in this day and age?

There must be a better way. So we join fun organizations and fitness clubs and try to stick with people we have something in common with. Maybe. The old fashioned way. It may take a longer, but it's a lot less stressful. And all of those how-to dating books don't really help either. It either happens or it doesn't. When we try to force nature, it backfires. Hence, global warming. And bad dates.

So back to the drawing board! And better perceptions and perspectives. And a more serious version of life. Like joining the Peace Corps. Anything to help others and get out of your own head at the same time. Because without a peaceful world, how can we find happiness with each other?

p.s. Firemen are still the best superheroes, in my book (and totally datable). We haven't forgotten you. Believe me. Peace.

www.peacecorps.gov/

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